Conflict Resolution - Learn to Fight Fair

Conflict – two or more people trying to occupy the same space or control the same resources.

Fighting Fair

  1. Learning to handle conflict correctly is the tunnel to intimacy. (1 Corinthians 14:32-33, NKJV)
    • Believe that every conflict can be resolved if both parties want to follow God’s plan for it.
  2. The goal of conflict is not to win and have victory but to resolve the conflict. (Matthew 5:9, NKJV)
  3. “Never again list” during conflict: (James 1:19, NKJV; Proverbs 21:23, NLT; Proverbs 16:24, NKJV; Proverbs 15:1-2, NKJV; Proverbs 18:21, NKJV; Ephesians 4:29, NKJV)
    • Never call each other names.
    • Never raise your voice.
    • Never get historical.
    • Never say “Never” or “Always”.
    • Never threaten divorce or separation.
  4. Learn to make anger work for you, not against you. (Ephesians 4:26-27, NKJV)

Learn the “ABCD” of Anger

  1. Acknowledge your anger.
  2. Backtrack the primary emotion or cause.
    • Sadness, loneliness, disappointment, wrong expectations, feeling attacked, embarrassment, feeling unloved, jealousy, disrespected, insecure, etc.
  3. Consider the real cause is that you expected everyone to want and feel like you do.
  4. Determine the best way to deal with and handle the situation.

Four Signs You’re Not Fighting Fair

  1. There’s Criticizing
  2. There’s Contempt.
  3. There’s Defensiveness
  4. There’s Stonewalling

Joshua Poe