A successful marriage depends greatly upon a proper handling of four danger areas. The degree of success with which a married couple handles these four critical areas will determine the degree of success or failure of their marriage.
The Spiritual and Religious Life
Do not be unequally yoked together (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). This means that a believer is never to date or marry an unbeliever. Furthermore, this text stresses the importance of a saved couple having the same standards and degree of spirituality. Society focuses on natural compatibility, but God focuses upon spiritual compatibility.
Realize that no marriage can be successful unless it is built upon the Lord (Psalm 127:1). Dedicate your home and life fully to God.
A couple must be united in their religion and worship (Matthew 12:25). Do not date outside of your denomination and faith. If you really are in love or are presently married, it is imperative that you reach a mutual agreement and worship together.
Both partners must “walk” daily in the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18-33). This passage speaks about a husband loving his wife and a wife submitting to her husband. This is scriptural and “indispensable to a successful marriage. However, you cannot love or submit until you are continually walking in the fullness of the Holy Spirit.
Manage Finances
Always give God the first tenth of all your income (Malachi 3:8-12; Proverbs 3:9-10; Matthew 6:25-33).
Be independent of in-laws. You are to leave father and mother. (Ephesians 5:31) You should not marry without their approval (Ephesians 6:1), but you should not marry until you can subside independent of in-laws.
Do not borrow money (Romans 13:8). Learn to pray in your needs (Philippians 4:19; James 4:2; Jeremiah 33:3). Debts bring bondage and pressure (Proverbs 22:7). Learn to be patient and wait on God to supply your needs. If you are already in debt, make this a joint endeavor to become debt-free with all expedience.
Establish a budget together and live by that budget (Proverbs 21:20 and I Corinthians 4:2).
Have only one person in charge of the finances. Both should plan the budget and both should know the income and expenses of the home. However, it is wise to have the most financially wise person, whether the husband or wife, to be in charge of the finances (Ephesians 5:21).
Personal Intimacy (sex).
Maintain sexual purity before marriage. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8) If you violated this command, confess that sin to God and your mate (Proverbs 28:13-14).
Understand that God created and intended sex among married people (Genesis 2:22-25. and Hebrews 13:4).
Realize that failure to have regular physical relationships within marriage is sinful and opens your mate to devastating temptations of Satan (1 Corinthians 7:2-5).
Understand that God intends for sex to be enjoyable and pleasurable within marriage (Proverbs 5:18-19).
Understand the destructiveness of lust and adultery after marriage (Exodus 20:14 and Matthew 5:27-30).
Child Rearing
A Christian couple should have a desire for children (Psalm 127:3-5). These verses teach that children are blessings of the Lord. These verses teach that a couple should have many children. The humanists have taught us that children are liabilities, but the Word of God teaches us that they are blessings from God.
It is best for a couple to spend time together before they start having children (Deuteronomy 24:5).
Children should be trained in love (Proverbs 22:8). Proper Christian training involves both teaching and discipline (Ephesians 6:4).
There should be total agreement between the parents regarding the training of their children (Matthew 12:25 and Colossians 3:21).
Learn to handle problems when they do come in your marriage.
Determine that you will stay together (Malachi 2:13-16 and Matthew 19:6).
Determine to keep praying and believing God together during your problems (Matthew 18:19-20 and I Peter 3:7).
Never go to bed with unresolved conflicts (Ephesians 4:26 and Colossians 3:13).
Seek outside spiritual counsel if unable to resolve a conflict within week (Galatians 6:1; Hebrews 12:14-15 and Proverbs 16:18).
Have Bible study together every day (Matthew 4:4 and Ephesians 5:26-27). There will be pressure and temptation during times of trouble to avoid family worship, but it is the family altar that keeps the family together.
Learn to be close friends with your mate (Song of Solomon 5:16).
